dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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