I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
