last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
