I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
