i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
