I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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