ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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