meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
