when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
