very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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