that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
