I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
