If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She even gives head with a lisp.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
