I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
