Sry I called you an 8
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
