plz talk dirty to me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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