Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
