i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
