Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
