I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
