I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
