Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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