My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
