We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
