eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just cropdusted the office
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
