It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
