Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize