who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
