Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
