I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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