Please, let me fuck your mom
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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