in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
