i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
