Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
