Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
