we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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