If i come over, it means nothing
It was confusing and full of hummus
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
