haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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