the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
