guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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