I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
honey bunches of taint.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
