I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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