you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
