And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
