I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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