Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
