She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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