Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
