so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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