North Korea, Best Korea!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize