Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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