She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
