I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
