who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
