chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
