It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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