i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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