No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize