i think i have two assholes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want a musical about memes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
